Well the news is good and bad. We got a referral today; we rejected it. We did not see pictures or get anymore information other than the fact that they were outside of the age range that Rick and I previously agreed upon. I somehow feel uncomfortable revealing that on my blog, but through private e-mail I would be glad to discuss that with you.
It was very hard to reject a referral. My adoption agency proved themselves today in a big way. Lina, the president of St. Mary's Adoption Agency, called and said the followin (not verbatum)..."I told you that Poland would love you as parents, you are excellent candidates for adoption, I told the lawyer no already, we got a referral that was outside of your specified qualifications for a sibling group, I am obligated to bring this to you, I will not send you picture unless you want me too, it is fine to yes or no at this time, take time to talk to your husband and family." I thought she handled it thoughtfully and in the weird world of adoption, thoughfulness of words is difficult to come by.
Reactions: I am not sure about some of the adoption experiences you all have had, but ours has been surprising. 1. Some people are overjoyed and almost impressed that you are adopting. 2. Some are a little confused as to why you are not doing all medical interventions or surrogacy, 3. some can't understand why you would adopt abroad when "there are so many children in our own country that need good homes."
Then there is the reaction from friends and family that you expect to be supportive at all times. I had a friend, Megan, in college. She was awesome. When you were in love with your boyfriend she would say things like, "You two are so cute together." She would really mean it. When you hated your boyfriend she would say, "You are too good for him." She would really mean it. When you asked for her opinion, she would ask questions and discuss it with you so you would really be doing most of the talking. She was always on my side, always present in the issue, always my biggest defender and fan. I loved her for that fierce loyalty and thoughtfulness. I wish we were still close today. Not that my friends and family weren't wonderful, but I got some thoughtless comments and probably a dash of judgement for turning down children. Sort of, "Beggers can't be choosers" attitude.
It was hard rejecting the children. I am sure I will dream about it tonight, I will pray for them and as I type about it, tears are welling up a little. Rick and I were at dinner and he said, "We could have seen our children tonight." They aren't our children, but I know that they will be the perfect match for someone out there longing for parenthood.
Rick and I did something smart; we made rational decisions, so when we weren't rational we could still make a good decision. Please pray for those children, our children and peace for all of us.
On the more positive side of this news flash. I am so excited that the Polish governement loves us. I feel like I am up for Miss (or in this case Mrs.) Potential Polish mother. The referal came quickly, much more quickly than we anticipated, so we must be totally awesome!
This has motivated me to:
1. Learn some Polish...it isn't an easy language to learn
2. Work-out more. I wanna be cute in my first mother pictures
3. Seriously start scrapbooking and quilting to get ready for the little ones
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